Biblical Manhood

Thanks to The Shepherd’s Scrapbook for this Interview with C.J. Mahaney on biblical masculinity.

Here’s one excerpt that I thought was particularly good:

If we look at how we view our wives and children, they don’t exist to serve us. We exist to serve and lead them. That will make all the difference in our attitude toward them and in our desire to plan…If I come home and I (all too many times) view my home as a refuge of my relaxation rather than a context to serve, then I will not fulfill my role and responsibility as a man. So all of these references are theologically informed and they precede practice and they make all the difference in practice.

I have one more recommendation. You must study your wife and children in order to effectively determine how you can serve your wife and children. So if I gave you illustrations of things I’m doing to serve and surprise Carolyn and serve and surprise Chad, it would not necessarily be transferable to everyone here because they are the fruit of studying Carolyn and studying Chad. And I would say when I’m not studying them in order to serve them it normally means I’m being selfish.

I love this. It goes right along with something I always share with couples who are getting married. I encourage them to study their spouse the rest of their lives.

What does she like?

What irritates him?

What chore does she hate that you can take over?

This is so important for men in particular. One of the reasons many people object to male headship in the home comes from the failure of men to love their wives the way Jesus loves the church.

A servant attitude is of central importance.

One of my co-pastors once shared with me that whenever he goes home he grabs the doorknob, says “I’m here to serve,” and then steps in the door.

Tags: headship, leadership, men, servant, women