Masturbation
January 16th, 2008 | by Noel |I asked people what sexual topic they wanted me to podcast on.
Masturbation won.
Here are my thoughts on masturbation…enjoy.
BTW, all iTunes people can subscribe to the Podcast Feed by clicking here.
Everyone else, you can subscribe by clicking here.
Oh, and make sure you vote for the next podcast topic on the right side of the main page.
Tags: lust, masturbation, Sexuality
By Dan on Jan 16, 2008
Are I-adultery, I-murder and I-thievery new products from Apple?
By Noel on Jan 16, 2008
I can’t believe you missed the obvious one: “iMasturbate.”
Dang it.
Was that a trick to get me to type that?
By Dave on Jan 16, 2008
The passage does refer to “the stronger hand”… So maybe Jesus was talking about masturbation
I didn’t get the relevance of the song to the message until the end. Very subtle and funny.
Ask Will about the interview video I did with him for camp, and how Ken Buck introduced himself the first time he met Will.
“Rich the pervert”? Just because the guy can pull up porn on his phone with his eyes closed, that makes him a pervert? Oh wait, it might.
By Noel on Jan 16, 2008
It was a tough call, really. Do I call him the “pervert” or the “porn phone guy”? Really, the “pervert” just rolled off the tongue easier.
By brett maxwell on Jan 16, 2008
It must be masturbation week, you and Driscoll talking about it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbxkQw-FEVw
I wish you would have gone into more detail on defining lust. Most definitions I hear (including yours?) amount to “desire for” or “long for”, as Thayer’s Greek Lexicon would also say. But surely you have a desire and longing for your wife which is not sin. Thayer’s definition “3a)” of epithumeo is “of those who seek things forbidden”. I think this makes an important distinction; to desire that which would be wrong to have. If the “woman” in Matthew 5 were changed to “wife” the passage simply wouldn’t make sense.
It would seem to me that this creates a large gray area around situations such as a husband away on business masturbating while thinking of his wife.
By Noel on Jan 17, 2008
It’s interesting that you should say that about my definition of lust because I thought I said it was a lust for things which are not yours to have. I just rewatched my clip and realized I didn’t say that. Oops.
I will get more into this in a couple weeks when I hit on Porn at Riverview.
Watching Mark’s clip, I would agree on things that help create oneness in a marriage are not off-limits. For instance, if you are a married man out of town on business and you and your wife want to have phone sex, knock yourself out. Masturbating without your wife, though, hinders that oneness and I think that is a problem that many many men have (not to mention the fact that many men are not “thinking of their wives” when masturbating).
By Dave on Jan 17, 2008
That reminds me of an awkward moment: As a teenager, my Dad and I sat down and listened to a focus on the family tape about pornography and masturbation. If that was uncomfortable enough, it really jumped the shark when I had to hear Dr. Dobson tell the story of someone he knew who masturbated while thinking of his wife while on business travel - all of this while I was sitting next to my Dad.
By Noel on Jan 17, 2008
Did Dr. Dobson agree with me? That’s the important question.
By Jeremy on Jan 17, 2008
First-time subscriber, first-time commenter (is that even a word?).
Also signed up for the podcast. Great sermon series (so far anyways). Really what we need to hear today. Thanks for being blunt but not crass. Great approach to a tough topic.
By Dave on Jan 17, 2008
He agreed with you - and he got it right the first time - without having a bunch of blog comments to correct him. Thanks to Dr. Dobson, I saw that ginormous flaw in your logic. That gaping hole of yours pretty much negated everything else you said, so I now assume masturbation and lust are ok.
By Danny on Jan 18, 2008
Hey Noel,
great blog. Thanks for your input.
Greetings from Germany,
Danny
By Annonymous on Jan 20, 2008
I noticed in the comments section here that you are going to be talking about porn (this also relates to masturbation). I think a lot of Christian guys, some of my friends included, don’t think masturbation is at all wrong since they think it’s “natural” and along with that, while they would probably agree that Play Boy and internet porn is wrong, at the same time they have Victoria’s Secret catalogues, fitness magazines, and swim suit issues for “reading material” in their bathroom. I personally have a real problem with that, I know I’m a woman and don’t fully understand, but I really hate that they think it’s ok to be looking at women like that. I hope that you will point out that Victoria’s Secret catalogues etc. aren’t “ok” just because they aren’t technically porn. Also, please don’t hold back on telling women that we have a responsibility to help men. The whole mentality of “I’m not responsible for how other people are looking at me” has gone way too far… we are responsible! There is personal responsibility on both sides here. We all need to do a better job of guarding our minds.
By Fritz on Jan 21, 2008
Hey Noel,
Just finished listening to the teaching from this week and found the men/women part towards the end pretty interesting. You mentioned how most women are just biochemically different than men and therefore are less willing to seek out sex. I wonder how a womans perspective might change if a.) their husbands took the ‘all day foreplay’ idea more seriously; and b.) their husbands approached their sexual needs in a more selfless manner? What I kept wondering here is this: do men who desire sex more often than their spouse make sure that she is sexually fulfilled (i.e. climax) when they get it on? If not, I can certainly see how this might lead to less and less ’sex wanting’ on behalf of the spouse and more and more feeling used.
By Dan on Jan 22, 2008
I have some sad/hilarious stories about my pursuit of pre-marital purity.
At one point I became capable of lucid dreaming, in which I could choose to have a wet dream. I sought council on this matter and eventually came to the conclusion that it was sin, since I more or less chose the relief. I just thought I’d throw that in to complicate things *grin*
I was also counseled by my doctor (after 3 months of terrifying pain and health issues…of the guy type) to masturbate. I also sought council for that one and everyone agreed I should read some really boring scripture and try to focus on holy things while getting the deed done. I can tell you, I am incapable of masturbating without lusting.
Also, now that I’m married I can offer perspective on the whole if-a-man-pleased-a-woman-would-her-drive-increase? idea.
I am of the general opinion that men in Christian culture suck 100% at treating women well. I disagree with so many things about how we tend towards mocking the best parts of feminism, if that any way qualifies me to claim I go the extra mile for my wife. And while keeping the last good sex in the forefront of the mind is helpful here is the deal:
you can make a crock-pot really, really cook, and that still won’t turn it into a microwave. If people are not wired with a high sex drive, mind blowing sex doesn’t seem to increase it. That’s why when Noel quoted a guy as saying that “if sex is fun and free, why wouldn’t she want free fun?” I wanted to stand on my chair and just scream Exactly!
I do wonder though if the virginity of both my wife and I is what gave us the chance to have really fantastic sex early on in marriage. There is no way to know for sure but I am so grateful that we came into our marriage with so little baggage. And I’m really excited that we can keep going and learning more about how to please one another. Self-sacrifice makes that whole deal sweeter. I think people miss the point consistently when they read through scripture about marriage. They are so busy trying to define “roles” that they miss the awesome power that can come about from two people loving each other sacrificially and choosing to put each other first.
By nick on Feb 26, 2008
I am a college student and am not married, but my question is about for someone after they are married and even in the case of someone in the case you talked about who’s wife had passed. Can you think about your wife while masturbating? Would that not be sin? If so, can you think about your wife that has passed while masturbating and it not be lustful and therfor not a sin?
Also, i think this is a great idea for a website. thanks
By Angela on Jun 30, 2008
Similar to the post above, I was wondering if it is ok to masturbate while thinking about your spouse. Also… you did not address a realse for women. When get pent up sexual frustration as well and we don’t have the “luxery” so you put it of having wet dreams as a release. I’f like to hear more on this subject because it still seems unclear.
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